Jonathon.

I can't think straight tonight. My mind has gone to chaos. I cannot even name the emotions going through my mind right now. There are too many, they are all intertwining.

This FUCKING LETTER is going to be the end of me.

These words thrown about this piece of prison-stained paper is going to be the reason why I will be emotionally unstable.

I have to fight it. I have to breathe.

BREATHE.

You will not win.

You won't fucking win.

I'll be damned if you do.

FORGIVE YOU?

Forgive someone that is all of who I am.. 

Everything I held back for so many years is rushing back to me

And I'm forgetting how to breathe again..

I need someone..

Anyone.

God you make me so fucking desperate. Do you realize that?

Do you realize how much of me you control?

I hate you so much that I don't even remember how to hate properly anymore.

Do I pity you, despise you, forget you, forgive you...

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know anything anymore.