Valentine's Nightmare.

Disgusting, it's Valentine's Day. Who would have known my first post was gonna be on a day I detest the most.

Seriously, this day is just an excuse for society to waste money on bears, and chocolate, and stupid little cute valentine's day cards.

Maybe I'm just pessimistic. Or haven't had a Valentine's in 3 years. Whatever.

A poem...sort of a tribute to the one person I wish would have been here on this day...

You are like a Rubik's cube

Bright colors vibrating off of you

Quickly the eye is attracted, it is curious

But although you are appealing to the eyesight

You are so puzzling to the mind

Only to be stuck with a frustrating array of pigments that speak a language I cannot recognize

A language that whispers secrets of broken pasts and misguided hearts

A language...that is so sweet to the ear you forget it is the devil speaking to you

Trying to lure you in but I am so much stronger than that

The angels have bestowed this great honor of force inside my heart...my mind...and I will not let those sweet whispers creep in and

know my screts

known my thoughts

know my soul

Do you know my soul?

Everytime I try to show you, you pull away

My trust and judgement is tainted with every step you take back

With every word you choose not to say

With every breathe you second guess

I wish was there in all the moment you second guessed yourself

So I can twist and turn those fragments into a new array of pigments

Hopefully resulting in a language that is so much sweeter than the posion that is injected in me everytime I try to get in your head

The posion that seeps through my pores and into my bloodstream

Allowing me to feel the pain you never wish to show me.

I wish I was there in all the moments you wondered if you're not good enough

So I can rearrange the squares in your mind into a box that can hold all the great moments in your life

But that isn't enough

Let me build you a room to hold all the memories you will make

With the one that knows your heart

The one that knows your soul

Let me make you a castle, big enough to hold all the great loves your heart will someday hold

The many heartbreaks you will someday overcome

And create

I wish you could disappear during all the moments I dreamed of you

Because being with you is an illusion compared to the reality of my dreams

The brutality of my dreams

The raw truth my dreams always seem to scream

I always try so hard to open my eyes before it gets too much and my heart is pounding

But always you seem to keep me captivated and strung on during these lucid images that always seem to be on replay

Images of you wanting more, bringing me in, and then...pulling away

This pain is too much for me to bear sometimes

Sometimes...my nightmares seem so childish next to these deams..