Shit.

I've been out of touch.

I'm sorry.

I'll be back soon.

Too much to say..so little time...

You're right here, next to me.

you smell like a mix of axe and dry sweat

as I nestle in your chest

passion lies within the scent that rises and spreads

as you shift your body among these sheets

as you breathe lightly against me

I recognize the smell of your favorite cologne

clinging to your pillowcase

it brings back memories of the very first night

when I realized, that I may actually love you

and this feeling suffocates me, draws me in

and entangles your scents into a state of well-being

I may love you but these fumes I breathe in of unreturned text messages

and sleepless nights

are burning my nostrils, disabling this ability to breathe and smell true love

i've spent too many nights, waiting for my empty bed to be weighed down by you,

a burden heavy with the hands and scents of other women

i've spent too many nights with those scents stuffing up my nose

not allowing m to smell all the different aromas that bring me back

to all the memories and moments that we created together

I'm runing out of will to continue to be wih you

But for now, your scent of axe and dry sweat will do

My poetry is messy.

When I write

It's messy

The words get spread all over the page

And it stains the eyes that take in my emotions

The fingers that grasp the paper get covered in inkblots

Pictures painting a story of disturbing pasts

Heartbreak

Love

Anger

SEX

Messy, my emotions are messy

They create waterfalls through my eyes

Waterfalls between my thighs

I'm drowning in my mess

Soon you will be the reason why these waterfalls won't stop

Will you save me as I fall deeper into this black sea?

Will you save me?

I try to press my words into the page as hard as possible

I try to rip these emotions from my heart and stain them onto those who never cared enough to take notice

Through my messy poetry

You will be forced to know what it is that this tired soul goes through

There's no escaping it

These emotions will find their way into your pores

Mix in your blood

So all the shit you've ever put me through can get pumped right back into your heart

And these butterflies?

I don't want them anymore

Their wings are starting to scrape the inside of my belly

And it's making me sick

So tired of holding on

So scared of letting go

My thoughts are messy

They keep running down my cheeks

I wipe them away and feel sad

Because I realized

If I had to choose

I'd always choose to be with you..

I need a distraction ...

Punta Cana, Dominican Republic...

It's a painful thing when my soul wishes to speak to you. It hurts, my god it hurts so bad not knowing anything about you. That silent glare from your eyes feels like the suns lightrays, it pains me to stare even for a second. The power you have over me. I wanna cry because they don't know what it feels like to have a storm of anger and glory. I feel like my body is about to explode. The desperation of it all, that's what I'm tryin to let go of here. An emotional ocean ready be released but held back by the belief that we can't be because they you don't want us to. The odds aren't with us anymore. There weren't any odds to begin with. I'll pray to god to be certain that what I feel is real. Because whatever it is,i think only He could explain. Hopefully one day I'll look back and say this is all a dream that finally became a reality...

- E.A.G.