Broken...

Her faith was engorged with lies

Too many times he penetrated her with beliefs that tainted her soul

Her sheets, bloody red

She screams for salvation

But God is silent

She looks for him everywhere

In the street corners, the sidewalks, the alleyway

She even tried the sky

But all she saw were galactic drops that exploded on her face

Drowning her in emotion

Tears magnified as raindrops

She cries herself to sleep

Wishing her salty tears would burn the cuts away

Wash the blood away

There will never be a way

To erase these internal scars that resides so beautifully inside of her

Nothing can scrub away the sweaty palms from her skin

Imprints of Lucifer’s wings on her temple

He had no right to enter it

But the word no was excommunicated from his vocabulary

God burst into flames as he forced his way in

There was no one to save her

She feels him watching her

Forever looking over her shoulder

His presence suffocates her

And he hides in the dark shadows of her mind

No longer can she enjoy stars on a brisk night

For her fear engulfs her

And she shuts her eyes whenever a shooting star happens to pass by

Just a second too late

Just a second too late

The cops were a second too late

The 911 calls were a second too late

And as he ripped her clothes

And allowed blood to flow down her leg

She finally saw God

He was reaching down for her from the blackened sky

But God was a second too late

And now she wakes up in the morning

Looks at her broken soul reflected through her green eyes and wishes for peace

Her pain implodes within her heart and I feel her pain as potent as she does

I’m tired of being forced to look at her every time a mirror is placed in front of me.

Run Chelly, Run.

I try to run as far away as I possibly can

From all the whiplashes of truth

But my lungs will never take me far enough to miss the tip of the whip

It always hurts the most

I cry tears of blood to stain my skin with the reality that this is who I am

Streams of blood cells that give me life

Running down my arms like runners of a marathon

I wish I had their adrenaline

I wish I had a shot of life for every moment I think of not having enough time to live

I wish I could kiss without thinking this is my last time kissing you

I wish I could hold you forever and never worry about how much time will go by before I get to feel them again

Inhale

Exhale

I need your air

Fresh, exuberant, I want you

I hate to need, but I always love to want you

A hidden secret, the forbidden fruit of my garden

I always bite

Enjoying my eternal burden of this forever sin

Let the juices of your goodness trail down the sides of my mouth

Savoring every last drop, I feed off of you

A living parasite but you never try to kill me off

I cannot lie to myself

I need you as you want me

The difference is too big for me to handle

I’ve never been so close to someone and yet feel so far away

Pores intertwining with pores

And still the emotional line is cut off

Heart to heart, impossible

Skin to skin, inevitable

I need to get away from you

I need to run

I need to move

But I can’t.

My legs will never take me far

My lungs won’t allow it

They need you as much as I do

What’s life without you?

Life with no air

Flat-line. The machine beeps too loud

I hear your voice even as I float into nirvana.

Happiness, finally.

Shit.

I've been out of touch.

I'm sorry.

I'll be back soon.

Too much to say..so little time...

You're right here, next to me.

you smell like a mix of axe and dry sweat

as I nestle in your chest

passion lies within the scent that rises and spreads

as you shift your body among these sheets

as you breathe lightly against me

I recognize the smell of your favorite cologne

clinging to your pillowcase

it brings back memories of the very first night

when I realized, that I may actually love you

and this feeling suffocates me, draws me in

and entangles your scents into a state of well-being

I may love you but these fumes I breathe in of unreturned text messages

and sleepless nights

are burning my nostrils, disabling this ability to breathe and smell true love

i've spent too many nights, waiting for my empty bed to be weighed down by you,

a burden heavy with the hands and scents of other women

i've spent too many nights with those scents stuffing up my nose

not allowing m to smell all the different aromas that bring me back

to all the memories and moments that we created together

I'm runing out of will to continue to be wih you

But for now, your scent of axe and dry sweat will do

My poetry is messy.

When I write

It's messy

The words get spread all over the page

And it stains the eyes that take in my emotions

The fingers that grasp the paper get covered in inkblots

Pictures painting a story of disturbing pasts

Heartbreak

Love

Anger

SEX

Messy, my emotions are messy

They create waterfalls through my eyes

Waterfalls between my thighs

I'm drowning in my mess

Soon you will be the reason why these waterfalls won't stop

Will you save me as I fall deeper into this black sea?

Will you save me?

I try to press my words into the page as hard as possible

I try to rip these emotions from my heart and stain them onto those who never cared enough to take notice

Through my messy poetry

You will be forced to know what it is that this tired soul goes through

There's no escaping it

These emotions will find their way into your pores

Mix in your blood

So all the shit you've ever put me through can get pumped right back into your heart

And these butterflies?

I don't want them anymore

Their wings are starting to scrape the inside of my belly

And it's making me sick

So tired of holding on

So scared of letting go

My thoughts are messy

They keep running down my cheeks

I wipe them away and feel sad

Because I realized

If I had to choose

I'd always choose to be with you..

I need a distraction ...

Punta Cana, Dominican Republic...

It's a painful thing when my soul wishes to speak to you. It hurts, my god it hurts so bad not knowing anything about you. That silent glare from your eyes feels like the suns lightrays, it pains me to stare even for a second. The power you have over me. I wanna cry because they don't know what it feels like to have a storm of anger and glory. I feel like my body is about to explode. The desperation of it all, that's what I'm tryin to let go of here. An emotional ocean ready be released but held back by the belief that we can't be because they you don't want us to. The odds aren't with us anymore. There weren't any odds to begin with. I'll pray to god to be certain that what I feel is real. Because whatever it is,i think only He could explain. Hopefully one day I'll look back and say this is all a dream that finally became a reality...

- E.A.G.

You lock me behind locked doors and bedsheets..

You want to know what is my issue before it hits the stands

BUT

I could never tell you cus you'd use it as ammunition to tie my hands -

- after all we've bled through

So instead I hate you 

Or at least just pretend to...